Good morning, Autopians, and welcome once again to the only two-crappy-car shootout that matters: Shitbox Showdown! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for something a little bit special. Today we’re going to be looking at a pair of high-performance coupes from a time when the light was just barely visible at the end of the ’70s tunnel. But first, let’s see what you made of yesterday’s odd couple:
Looks like the Nova wins, although from the sounds of it, many of you were simply voting against the Fiat and its perceived title problems. Really, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal; estates sell cars all the time, and I can’t imagine every one of them has the title in hand. Anyway, for my money, it’s that Nova and its tacky-in-all-the-right-ways interior.
Today’s matchup was brought to mind by the latest installment of Jason’s brilliant “Glorious Garbage” feature, which showcased another vehicle that was tacky in all the right ways: the 1978 Plymouth Volaré “Street Kit Car.” This goofy NASCAR cosplay package was no one’s idea of a muscle car, at least by the standards of a few years prior. But this was 1978, when even Chevy’s mighty Corvette was taking seven and a half seconds to reach 60 mph, one hash-mark past the Federally-required giant orange “55” marking on the speedometer. That ’78 Nova we looked at yesterday, a fairly typical family car for the time, took nearly twelve seconds to reach the same speed. The Plymouth’s performance wasn’t all that shabby, all things considered.
Fast-forward 45 years, and a Toyota RAV4 Hybrid, a fairly typical family car today, can out-accelerate the ‘Vette to 60 by a couple tenths (7.3 seconds, per Car and Driver), and absolutely blow the doors off anything else from 1978 short of a Ferrari or Porsche. Maybe performance and speed need to be “adjusted for inflation” like prices are. Or at the very least, performance cars from slower eras deserve a little sympathy.
So today we’re going back to a time when the worst of the malaise era was coming to an end, when power and performance were starting to creep ever so slowly back into sporty cars. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.
1981 Datsun 280ZX Turbo – $9,800
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.8 liter overhead cam inline 6, 3 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Dallas, TX
Odometer reading: 58,000 miles
Quicker than a RAV4 Hybrid? Yes, but only a little
Datsun’s Z car was already a hero by the time the 280ZX gained a turbocharger in 1980, but the addition of forced induction gave the Z the power to back up its sporty looks: 180 horsepower, to be exact. This was good enough to take the 280ZX to 60 miles an hour in a little over seven seconds, at least with an automatic. The five-speed manual, surprisingly, was about a half a second slower.
This Z is an automatic, and is equipped with T-tops, a perfect combination for cruising around, or taking Jennifer Jason Leigh on a date. As Nissan’s flagship sports coupe, it’s loaded with other goodies as well: leather seats, power windows, and a very ’80s tape deck. It’s one year too early for the 280ZX’s best parlor trick, however; the voice warning module wasn’t available until 1982.
The seller says this car’s 2.8 liter inline six has had a lot of recent maintenance done on it, and it runs beautifully and accelerates like it should. The air conditioning doesn’t work, nor does the radio apparently, so there’s some work to be done still. The odometer shows only 58,000 miles, which if correct likely means this car was sitting around for a long time instead of being enjoyed like it should have been. It’s cool that there are some survivors like this still around, and available for sale, but honestly, I don’t mind seeing them rusty and beat-up and with 300,000 miles on the clock, because every mile and every ding and scratch tells a story.
Stylistically, this car is like a greatest-hits of the early ’80s. In addition to the T-tops, it has louvers on the rear windows, gold-painted alloy wheels, a NACA duct on the hood, and of course, 5 mph bumpers. The bronze-gold paint is definitely of the era as well. The paint is original, and pretty shiny, but there is a bit of rust along the bottom edge. It would be worth investigating how serious that is.
Still, even as it is, you could have a lot of fun cruising around in this car. It’s quick enough to effortlessly keep up with modern traffic, and as popular as these once were, there aren’t many left these days; expect to draw some attention. Fix the tape deck, slide in Journey’s Greatest Hits, pop the collar on your dress shirt, and paint the town bronze.
1983 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am – $11,975
Engine/drivetrain: 5.0 liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: San Jose, CA
Odometer reading: 61,000 miles
Quicker than a RAV4 Hybrid? Nope, sorry
High-tech turbocharged engines were one way of accelerating out of the malaise era, but General Motors took a different approach, or rather, the same old approach with some new technology thrown at it. The third-generation Firebird and Camaro arrived on the scene in 1982 with a new trick: electronic fuel injection, but only at the bottom and top of the engine range. The 2.5 liter “Iron Duke” four-cylinder had a single throttle body, and the Trans Am’s 305 V8 received the “Cross-Fire Injection” system, with two throttle bodies. This fancy new induction method didn’t make a ton of power; it was only rated at 165 horsepower, a mere shadow of the “Super Duty” Trans Ams of a decade earlier.
But even a low-output V8 makes the proper sort of noises for a car like the Trans Am, and gives it the proper attitude. And the 305 had a lot less weight to haul around; the third generation F-body weighed 500 pounds less than the second generation. An automatic transmission was compulsory with this engine; in 1983 this meant a TH700R4 four-speed with overdrive.
This car became famous on TV, of course, but these days the idea of a black Trans Am with a yoke for a steering wheel and a bunch of blinky lights on the dashboard is as tired and overdone as a pearl-white Beetle with stripes and roundels and the number 53 on it. It’s refreshing to see a nice clean steel-blue Trans Am like this with no hint of Knight Rider to it. And I like the turbine-style wheels without the “bowling ball” wheel covers, especially with the white-letter tires to set them off.
This 61,000-mile car is just about as clean as an ’83 Trans Am has been since probably 1986 or so. It looks practically new, inside and out. Now, it is still a Firebird, so I’m sure that dash top squeaks and rattles and the windows wobble in the doors when they’re halfway down. These cars were always more about style than substance.
But if you are of a certain age and background, this car’s style speaks to you. No, not speaks; it shouts at you like Vince Neil shouts at the devil. I remember seeing a Trans Am similar to this in the window of Jim Detzler Pontiac when I was young, and being absolutely transfixed. It’s the automotive equivalent of a chunky riff being hammered out on a Jackson guitar through a Marshall stack, and it makes no apologies for it, and I love it for that.
Neither one of these cars is going to win any drag races today. The Chrysler 300 I drive every day would leave either of them in a cloud of dust, and even an average minivan would give them a run for their money. But that isn’t really the point. In their day, they were decent performers, and they still have the fast-car attitude. At the end of the day, if you feel cool driving it, who cares how fast it actually is? All that’s left for you is to make your power choice: high-tech Japanese turbo wizardry, or good ol’ American V8 rumble?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
If the choice had been between the Z and an 83 Camaro, it would have been easier as I think the Firebird’s fraternal twin was actually better looking in this generation. Never cottoned to the Z once it migrated from 240 to 260, 280, etc.; always looked pregnant compared to the 240. Throw in the auto, the T-top, and the gold bling and this is way too disco for me. Plus, I don’t have any shiny rayon shirts, platform shoes, or Italian horn necklaces and those were practically mandatory for driving a Z. The Poncho is pretty lame, too, but that blue paint is handsome, so it’s the Firebird by a beak, even if it does have the Super Doody motor instead a Super Duty.
That’s the cleanest non-molested TA I’ve seen in years, but I’m still going Z. The Z, along with the first-gen RX-7 and CRX were the ones I always wanted. Maybe because where I grew up in the Midwest the big three were everywhere but imports weren’t, so it was always the ‘oooh if I lived in a cool city I could drive one of those’ aspect of the thing. Would the rust give me concerns? Yes, but just like teenage me back then I don’t give a shit.
The only thing that really worries me on that Trans Am is the pop-up up-and-down headlights, and that’s just because IIRC it used the same system as the Fiero for a few years there, and I am absolutely not a fan of the all those damn relays.
Cost is a little steep, but Trans Am for me. The Datsun is rad af, but the T/A is radder.
The pop-ups on my ’89 still work great, and the motors are still available aftermarket.
Also, pop-ups rule, so there you go.
You can’t forget your headlights on with pop ups. Such a great feature.
Shout-out to Oswego, Illinois! Also, the Pontiac bonus is in effect; we’ll take the T/A.
This is one of the nicest early third-gen Trans Ams I’ve seen in a long time, even sporting the rear wiper, which wasn’t very common even when they were new. Anyone thinking to LS-swap or otherwise modify this survivor is completely missing the point here. As far as third-gens go this is pretty basic for a Trans Am but third-gens are seeing big gains in value now, and one this nice is going to ride that wave. Blue isn’t my color but this is a no-brainer.
Gimme that Firebird! Don’t forget the motor city!
“This was supposed to be the new world!”
That crossfire injections makes the answer anything but that…. 280z for me.
Both are good but most 280z are rust waiting to happen. If I didn’t live in the NE, then I would buy it. Trans Am for me.
T-tops for the win!
I loves me some Trans Am, but that Z is “discocaine” fabulous.
I am the person he’s referencing in the trans am paragraph.
I owned an 84 Firebird, and my two years of ownership is the entire reason I wasn’t the least sad to see Pontiac’s demise. What a terrible car. In just two years of owning it I had at least two dozen things go wrong on it, from simple stuff like fuses and injectors, to more difficult repairs like the pop up headlight motors, to the extra fun stuff like the oil pan deciding it didn’t like being on the car anymore and just separating and leaking enough oil to nearly ruin the motor. The engine was amazingly lackluster, the handling was terrible (but admittedly fun if you didn’t care about safety), and the real end was so light that I had to drive around with a few bags of cement in the back if the ground was even slightly wet. And absolutely zero driving in the snow. It pretty much cost me what I paid for it to keep it running for two years.
I’d pretty much take anything else
it’s so pretty tho!
Can’t lie, it did look great, that one up there looks great too. It looked wonderful in my driveway waiting on parts hahaha
Gimme the Z because I haven’t owned a jean jacket in years, which is compulsory to drive an 80’s TransAm
It’s an 80’s T/A, a Member’s Only jacket will also suffice.
Ah the time before the concerns of the ’90s that non-members were wearing them led to their downfall.
You seem to dislike this idea but if I bought that TransAm the first thing I would do is order a KITT dashboard and begin the process.
Me too, but I would keep the blue. Just to mess with people.
If you really want to mess with people, get a black woman to drive an all-white version of KITT. Oh, and make the hood LEDs green.
Name it KATT?
It’s hard to say no to a turbo I6, even with a little rust. Make sure you get underneath it though before handing over the cash. If the rust is worse that the seller is letting on, walk away.
The Z is probably the more logical choice, but I’m going Trans Am. I feel like earlier 3rd gen Firebirds are almost always seen with the aero/ground effects and other styling add ons, so seeing a good condition one without all that feels ‘unique.’ Also seems odd seeing the rear wiper on the older 3rd gen F-bodies, seems like they dropped it from the options list after a couple years and it was mostly featured in earlier media materials.
I imagine the auto Z was quicker because one was able to use the TC to load the engine and get the turbo up faster off the line. They came in a great silver/blue two-tone combo, yet every survivor I see now is on the ugly brown color spectrum. Pontiac is in great shape, but too expensive. Maybe that’s what they’re going for now, but that’s too much either way. A later Formula 350 or GTA or either with the 305/5-speed, ok, but this one is still run-of-the-mill and pretty common still even here in New England.
Despite me liking the Fairlady Z the S130s are never a good time. Even the fact that rhe real life Devil Z was a ’78 S130 can’t make me like them. They’re luxury tourers before anything else.
Besides, the Trans-Am is like a weekend evening away from running 250HP without ever actually adding anything to it. Just removing and changing what’s already in it. Plus it’d be easier to modify a 305 for modern fuel injection and ignition than the L28.
First one of these in awhile where both speak to me, tough decision but I went Datsun because I’m just a sucker for that style.
I love a Z, but that Trans Am is too nice to pass up. Crossfire injection is junk, but the sky’s the limit with anything small-block powered.
I voted for the ZX, and Stacy Hamilton wouldn’t be disrespected with 22 seconds in a baseball dugout…
And you’re not even a stereo salesman I bet.
No, and I forgot that “Ron Johnson” worked at Pacific Stereo. That was one pathetic dude.
She’s got to be somebody’s baby
She must be somebody’s baby
She’s got to be somebody’s baby, she’s so fine
Stacy, he’s not a guy. He’s a little prick.
Easy Trans Am vote just based on rust.
Although not anywhere as sweet and valuable as the 240 and 260, the 280 will appreciate more in value over time than the ostentatious and might I say ugly Firebird. Land of the rising sun for me.
I picked Pontiac,
1.) the S130 has an automatic, bummer
2.) It’s an S130, the S30 is the one you want
3.) Trans Am…Knight Rider….V8 swap…’nuff said
Trans am should be compatible with swap that knows no bounds, and you should be able to stuff it sideways into a tree in no time
My buddy had a Z much like the one here back when we were teenagers (you can tell where this is going…17 year old with a car like that?) Spun out taking a curve and smacked a tree dead-center in the rear end, right through the louvers. It looked like a taco. Went to the shop where they towed it to help him clean out his stuff before they hauled it away; he had hit so hard the tape flew out of the tape deck and was wedged in the hatchback.