Good morning, Autopians, and welcome once again to the only two-crappy-car shootout that matters: Shitbox Showdown! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for something a little bit special. Today we’re going to be looking at a pair of high-performance coupes from a time when the light was just barely visible at the end of the ’70s tunnel. But first, let’s see what you made of yesterday’s odd couple:
Looks like the Nova wins, although from the sounds of it, many of you were simply voting against the Fiat and its perceived title problems. Really, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal; estates sell cars all the time, and I can’t imagine every one of them has the title in hand. Anyway, for my money, it’s that Nova and its tacky-in-all-the-right-ways interior.
Today’s matchup was brought to mind by the latest installment of Jason’s brilliant “Glorious Garbage” feature, which showcased another vehicle that was tacky in all the right ways: the 1978 Plymouth Volaré “Street Kit Car.” This goofy NASCAR cosplay package was no one’s idea of a muscle car, at least by the standards of a few years prior. But this was 1978, when even Chevy’s mighty Corvette was taking seven and a half seconds to reach 60 mph, one hash-mark past the Federally-required giant orange “55” marking on the speedometer. That ’78 Nova we looked at yesterday, a fairly typical family car for the time, took nearly twelve seconds to reach the same speed. The Plymouth’s performance wasn’t all that shabby, all things considered.
Fast-forward 45 years, and a Toyota RAV4 Hybrid, a fairly typical family car today, can out-accelerate the ‘Vette to 60 by a couple tenths (7.3 seconds, per Car and Driver), and absolutely blow the doors off anything else from 1978 short of a Ferrari or Porsche. Maybe performance and speed need to be “adjusted for inflation” like prices are. Or at the very least, performance cars from slower eras deserve a little sympathy.
So today we’re going back to a time when the worst of the malaise era was coming to an end, when power and performance were starting to creep ever so slowly back into sporty cars. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.
1981 Datsun 280ZX Turbo – $9,800
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.8 liter overhead cam inline 6, 3 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Dallas, TX
Odometer reading: 58,000 miles
Quicker than a RAV4 Hybrid? Yes, but only a little
Datsun’s Z car was already a hero by the time the 280ZX gained a turbocharger in 1980, but the addition of forced induction gave the Z the power to back up its sporty looks: 180 horsepower, to be exact. This was good enough to take the 280ZX to 60 miles an hour in a little over seven seconds, at least with an automatic. The five-speed manual, surprisingly, was about a half a second slower.
This Z is an automatic, and is equipped with T-tops, a perfect combination for cruising around, or taking Jennifer Jason Leigh on a date. As Nissan’s flagship sports coupe, it’s loaded with other goodies as well: leather seats, power windows, and a very ’80s tape deck. It’s one year too early for the 280ZX’s best parlor trick, however; the voice warning module wasn’t available until 1982.
The seller says this car’s 2.8 liter inline six has had a lot of recent maintenance done on it, and it runs beautifully and accelerates like it should. The air conditioning doesn’t work, nor does the radio apparently, so there’s some work to be done still. The odometer shows only 58,000 miles, which if correct likely means this car was sitting around for a long time instead of being enjoyed like it should have been. It’s cool that there are some survivors like this still around, and available for sale, but honestly, I don’t mind seeing them rusty and beat-up and with 300,000 miles on the clock, because every mile and every ding and scratch tells a story.
Stylistically, this car is like a greatest-hits of the early ’80s. In addition to the T-tops, it has louvers on the rear windows, gold-painted alloy wheels, a NACA duct on the hood, and of course, 5 mph bumpers. The bronze-gold paint is definitely of the era as well. The paint is original, and pretty shiny, but there is a bit of rust along the bottom edge. It would be worth investigating how serious that is.
Still, even as it is, you could have a lot of fun cruising around in this car. It’s quick enough to effortlessly keep up with modern traffic, and as popular as these once were, there aren’t many left these days; expect to draw some attention. Fix the tape deck, slide in Journey’s Greatest Hits, pop the collar on your dress shirt, and paint the town bronze.
1983 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am – $11,975
Engine/drivetrain: 5.0 liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: San Jose, CA
Odometer reading: 61,000 miles
Quicker than a RAV4 Hybrid? Nope, sorry
High-tech turbocharged engines were one way of accelerating out of the malaise era, but General Motors took a different approach, or rather, the same old approach with some new technology thrown at it. The third-generation Firebird and Camaro arrived on the scene in 1982 with a new trick: electronic fuel injection, but only at the bottom and top of the engine range. The 2.5 liter “Iron Duke” four-cylinder had a single throttle body, and the Trans Am’s 305 V8 received the “Cross-Fire Injection” system, with two throttle bodies. This fancy new induction method didn’t make a ton of power; it was only rated at 165 horsepower, a mere shadow of the “Super Duty” Trans Ams of a decade earlier.
But even a low-output V8 makes the proper sort of noises for a car like the Trans Am, and gives it the proper attitude. And the 305 had a lot less weight to haul around; the third generation F-body weighed 500 pounds less than the second generation. An automatic transmission was compulsory with this engine; in 1983 this meant a TH700R4 four-speed with overdrive.
This car became famous on TV, of course, but these days the idea of a black Trans Am with a yoke for a steering wheel and a bunch of blinky lights on the dashboard is as tired and overdone as a pearl-white Beetle with stripes and roundels and the number 53 on it. It’s refreshing to see a nice clean steel-blue Trans Am like this with no hint of Knight Rider to it. And I like the turbine-style wheels without the “bowling ball” wheel covers, especially with the white-letter tires to set them off.
This 61,000-mile car is just about as clean as an ’83 Trans Am has been since probably 1986 or so. It looks practically new, inside and out. Now, it is still a Firebird, so I’m sure that dash top squeaks and rattles and the windows wobble in the doors when they’re halfway down. These cars were always more about style than substance.
But if you are of a certain age and background, this car’s style speaks to you. No, not speaks; it shouts at you like Vince Neil shouts at the devil. I remember seeing a Trans Am similar to this in the window of Jim Detzler Pontiac when I was young, and being absolutely transfixed. It’s the automotive equivalent of a chunky riff being hammered out on a Jackson guitar through a Marshall stack, and it makes no apologies for it, and I love it for that.
Neither one of these cars is going to win any drag races today. The Chrysler 300 I drive every day would leave either of them in a cloud of dust, and even an average minivan would give them a run for their money. But that isn’t really the point. In their day, they were decent performers, and they still have the fast-car attitude. At the end of the day, if you feel cool driving it, who cares how fast it actually is? All that’s left for you is to make your power choice: high-tech Japanese turbo wizardry, or good ol’ American V8 rumble?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
This might be one of the hardest votes ever. As a Pontiac fanboi it’s really hard to not vote for it but it’s an auto with the crappy 305, and it’s against the absolutely beautiful 280zx (ugh again auto) in the best color ever. The TA has so many restomod positibilities it’s basically endless. The 280zx just needs a transmission and some induction love and you’re done…and it’s cheaper. So the Z wins here. Yes, I know you can do a ton with the Z, but those classic lines, need nothing.
Trans Am without a doubt.
I would typically always go for the Z, but the condition of this particular TA is pretty amazing. I dig it, though the price and the automatic makes it a little less appealing.
With both being expensive and auto, might as well go with the TA I guess.
I think Both LS swap easy enough, thought he TA a bit easier. I would have to go with that. the crossfire and missing wheel covers are negatives, not positives here though.
They’re both “slow” and automatics, so I’ll take the one with T-tops. Give me the Z, please.
Wow, hey… Shitbox showdown cars are $10k now?!? WTF???
On Fridays he drops the price cap
Kind of a tough decision somehow.
Crossfire on my 84 Corvette was awful and these cars have very intertwined electronics, so big project getting rid of it. Z 4 me!
That TA looks like the rear is too high – someone has been messing with the suspension.
I always remember Peter Egan’s comment on the Cross-Fire injection, “Stand back, kid, that thing’s about to cross-fire!”
My best friend’s older brother had a 280ZX turbo exactly like this when I was in HS. It was really a cruiser, so most of them had the auto (and IIRC, the manual was not even available for the first couple of years). I’d take the 280 and try to fit a manual to it.
It’s Frisky Friday–warm up that Z!
If choosing this car is wrong I don’t wanna be right.
For the 1st time in a long while, I would actually like to have both vehicles. However, the performance advantage of the Datsun is the main point for me. Stylistically, the TransAm has it in spades but it isn’t enough of a factor for me. Plus my receding hairline makes mutton chops impractical.
As a former Z owner and (multiple times) F-body owner, I’m going to go with the Z. The automatic is disappointing, as it’s not a very good transmission, but it also isn’t a huge hassle to manual swap it. The price is a bit high for the issues it has, but assuming there’s no rust (those Missouri plates make me think there might be), it’s a great platform.
The Trans Am, on the other hand, is clean, but not a particularly desirable year. The Crossfire Injection sounds cool and looks neat, but is also finicky and maintenance heavy to keep running right – I’d honestly rather have a TBI 305. If the price were lower, I’d give it consideration, if only because then I could justify buying it and swapping in a better fuel injection system (along with a manual swap).
I am a lifelong Firebird fanboy, since 1977 – see profile pic.
I never cared for the third gen, ever, and I always dug Z cars. The 280ZX, no brainer. Besides – t-tops.
I used the same reasoning, except I am more of a Z fan than a Firebird fan, I consider the second generation of the Z-car to be by far the worst, just an uglified first generation car. Had to pick the Trans Am.
Fair enough.
But… t-tops.
Now we’re talking’ – is this to make up for yesterday?
Turbo, t-tops, AND louvers? The 280 gets my vote all day, every day.
Give me the Datsun in the Pontiac’s paint color.
My initial response was for the Z, but that Trans Am is clean and actually looks pretty good to me. It would do well with the nostalgia crowd. Crossfire Injection FTW!
Same. I seem to remember that Datsun’s automatic of the era was somewhat agricultural-plus I’m frankly too old to do the open shirt/hairy chest/coke spoon on a gold chain thing with those T-tops
Coincidentally, those T-tops were the best place to hide said drugs. There was plenty of room under (above?) the latches for baggies of whatever, and they locked with a small, separate key that was easy to “David Copperfield” if you got pulled over.
Gimme that Trans Am. I don’t care if it’s slow, it looks fast and it sounds fast. Where am I in a hurry to anyway?
How’s your mullet doing?
If it had a manual, that Fairlady would be absolutely perfect. Easy choice for me.
Oh, man, I want that Z but I’m $10k light and Texas is too far. If it were a manual, I’d be pricing one-way tickets to Dallas. Nothing against the Firebird, it’s _clean_, but the Datsun is calling to me.
As a 4th Gen T/A GT owner I get how folks get truned off by all the rattle, squeaks and cheapassery of these cars, but damn they’re pretty.
Still have to vote for the F-Body, regardless.
“The Chrysler 300 I drive every day would leave either of them in a cloud of dust…” – hell yes, Mark!
Both are fine with me, I really like the color on the TA, but I have heard the crossfire injection could be a bear. I have experience working on 1980s Datsuns, so the Datsun is the choice for me, in spite of the damn vacuum lines everywhere that always seem to have some sort of leak.
So, is no one going to mention the Dwight Schrute connection here? (Yeah, the years are wrong, but same models)
I feel like Zeke might drive this one…Dwight would consider the styling cues weaker.
If I’m getting an 80’s 3rd gen T/A, I’m getting a white & black on white T/A with t-tops, rocker panel extensions, and white aero wheels like the one from Alphabet City.
https://trailersfromhell.com/alphabet-city/
“Alphabet City”?
Now that’s a title I’ve not heard in a long, long time.
I went with the Z. Not because of my handle, but because it looks almost exactly like one my Uncle had in the very early 80s. Same color and everything. Plus, I’ve always had a thing for louvers.
The Z looks like something Ponch would drive off-duty on CHiPs.
(yeah, I know he actually had a Trans-Am that kept getting stolen, etc. but the Z fits him sooo much better).
Z for me b/c I love that interior – cockpit-like, and the amber on black gauges (including that standard high tech tiny digital clock) are so wonderfully distinctive. You can see Nissan was going for its own take on racecar style functionalism, and it’s beautiful to my eyes.